Pradeep "We followed the tradition publicly as we are proud of it and it was a joint decision,"

Kapil, the younger sibling who works abroad, added: "We are ensuring support, stability and love for our wife as a united family. We've always believed in transparency."

Sunita, originally from Kunhat village in the same district, wanted to make it clear she was not coerced into the arrangement. "I was aware of the tradition and made my decision without any pressure," she told the Hindustan Times

This story drew international attention just for the fact that it is so unusual in western eyes. The independent ran a story on the wedding and reached out to the family where Pradeep said

"This is our tradition. It is a part of our culture. I do not understand why everyone is interested in a private matter," - Independent

And he declined to speak any further on the issue

Which makes sense, no one wants to be a spectacle for just living their lives, and as the story spread came judgments from people and cultures where such a tradition could never be fathomed. It's easy to judge a practice out of context, but these traditions don't happen overnight and there's usually a reason they come into being in the first place

The practice of Jodidara is polyandrous, probably one of the rarest types of marriage tradition, at least since the advent of Christianity in western cultures.

In the 1980 Ethnographic Atlas, 1231 societies were listed, 186 were found to be monogamous, 453 had occasional polygyny, 588 had more frequent polygyny, and 4 had polyandry, that's less than 1%

It's easy to understand how the west came to monogamy as its predominant form of marriage, so much of our traditions and practices are rooted in Christian ideology

And there's a long history of polygyny, the practice of one man being involved with two or more women. Historically, in many cultures a man having multiple wives or lovers was a sign of power. It was also a way for a man to spread his lineage. Sometimes it may not have been a real choice, today West Africa is the region where polygyny is most commonly practiced and there's theories that the practice my have developed during the slave trade, when large swaths of young men fit for hard labor were captured and taken, impacting the male to female ratio immensely.

It's also something we see in nature quite frequently, few species are monogamous, in most cases the male will attempt to breed with as many females as possible. Lion prides typically only have one adult male, and it's estimated that 90% of species practice what we would deem is polygyny

A 2014 study on mitochondrial DNA took DNA samples from 623 men across 51 different populations around the world. What they found was that while it varied be region, by and large, genetically there were more unique mothers than fathers. A 2015 study found that 8000 years ago 17 women reproduced for every 1 male. To some this suggests a higher historical rate or polygyny than previously thought, but naturally there are many reasons this may be the case beyond just that.

But polyandry is something else entirely

In nature the mating strategy appears to be directly related to the needs of the young. If the offspring require both parents to raise them monogomy is much more common, but if not, polygyny seems to be the default. Polyandry, just like in humans, is quite rare in the animal kingdom, one notable example is seahorses and that's because the male pouch is the finite resource. We also see this behavior in many colony insects like ants and bees. 1% of birds are thought to be polyandrous

There are many reasons we suspect animals may use this strategy

• It's thought that creatures that practice polyandry do so when the cost of incompatibility, or likelihood of incompatibility is much higher.
• The "good sperm" theory: a female animal mates with several males and only the strongest sperm implants into the egg
• Some animals like spiders and tortoises have the ability to store sperm in their bodies for later use. Due to this tortoises have been known to have clutches where different eggs can have different fathers, creating greater genetic diversity in the clutch, increasing odds of survival

There are few creatures that practice more than one of these strategies, but one species is the acorn woodpecker

The acorn woodpecker is known to practice monogyny, polygyny and polyandry

These woodpeckers form different breeding coalitions seemingly based on circumstances. A polygynous coalition will occur when a male breeds with multiple females, the females will all be related, and vice versa for polyandrous coalitions.

In all these scenarios, the coalition takes care of the offspring together, a process called cooperative breeding, a rare circumstance which only 9% of bird species partake in

What has been discovered while studying these coalitions is that polyandry produced the best outcomes. The female produces an ideal number of eggs and having multiple males around to help care for her and her offspring give them the best chance at success. In polygynous coalitions, more eggs are laid but do not receive the same amount of attention and care reducing the overall fitness of the group

Because of this, by and large, it seems that these woodpeckers prefer polyandry

So then why do humans practice polyandry? We don't have sperm storage, the odds of us having multiple offspring by different fathers in a single birthing is incredibly rare and historically, human males have had a strong predilection to gain station and power by having multiple women for a variety of reasons

So naturally I had to find out and I came across Laura Benedict's paper 2017 "Polyandry Around the World" where she gathered data from 43 different societies that practice polyandry. I used this as the basis for much of this topic as it was one of the few resources that looked at the topic as a whole a compared across multiple groups

In it she describes polyandry as:

"Polyandry is the umbrella term for one woman maintaining sexual access to more than one man […] In some types, the sexual acts are part of a marriage contract involving three or more people. In some types, the marriage involves only two people, but the sexual access of the wife extends beyond the marriage"

So let's get started

Defining Polyandry

Benedict breaks polyandry into 6 different types:

• Fraternal: when one woman is married to two or more brothers who hold equal rights within the household. The marriage of all of the brothers is usually performed in one ceremony or agreement, and the entire family is seen by the community as a single family unit. There 11 in this paper
• Associated: when a woman marries two or more men separately. These marriage ceremonies or agreements are separate events, and the relationships are regarded as separate marriages. The men hold a definite hierarchy within the household, with the second husband as the junior. The second husband is acquired as an assistant to the first husband, or because the first husband is ill and unable to sexually satisfy the wife. 7
• Polykoity: when one woman is married to one man, but has sex with other men in addition to her husband. Polykoity is seen in the practice of partible paternity, the belief that more than one man is the genetic father of any child. 17
• Secondary: when the original married couple part ways and each acquires new mates, but they continue to have sexual relations with each other whenever they feel like it. Using modern terminology, this practice could be described as divorce-with-benefits. These communities seem to have little or no jealousy over extra-marital sexuality because this behavior is accepted and generally expected. 3

• Walking Marriage: Walking marriage is when the woman is not married, or is ritually married to the clan, and chooses which man with whom to have sex each evening, and if she has sex. The clan sets limits concerning which males have access to her, but the choice is hers within those limits. She is not economically dependent upon any man with whom she has sex, and the relationship can begin or stop without ceremony. 3
• Familial: when the woman is married to one man, and there is an expectation that she will be sexually available to other outside the marriage, especially family members. 

Fraternal

When one woman is married to two or more brothers who hold equal rights within the household. The marriage of all of the brothers is usually performed in one ceremony or agreement, and the entire family is seen by the community as a single family unit.

The most common reasons for this kind of arrangement are poverty, love of family, or the need to maintain a finite amount of land
This is also the type seen in the story at the beginning

For the Hatti and other similar communities in India, the practice is primarily done with wealthier families as a way to keep wealth in the family

The Hatti and other tribes in the area have unique circumstances. First is geographic, the area they live is high up in the Himalayas, the land is harsh and difficult for agriculture and animal rearing, with only small sections suitable for these practices. It's a hard life at the best of times, and these farms are considered unmaintainable with only one person. That and the land is also limited

Second is societal, the community has a much higher ratio of men to women. And while a number of these men and boys become celibate Buddhist monks, this barely dents this huge disparity. In the early aughts the state of Himachal Pradesh and a handful of others in the area had a ration of 800 girls to 1000 boys.

This was the result of female infanticide, a horrific practice where female fetuses were aborted or killed shortly after birth. The reasons behind this are complex, but seem to come down to the perceived value of the different sexes. In these communities where it's incredibly hard to eke out a living, having sons to help with the labour was seen as a boon, but due to societal reasons, a daughter was considered a curse, a waste of resources, as once a daughter was married, not only did her parents have to pay a dowry (despite this being made illegal in 1961, it is still a common practice), but their daughter was no longer theirs and became part of the family she married into. There was also a strong belief that only sons will remain to care for their parents and in Hinduism only a son can perform the last rights for his family

Thankfully with the help of the UN and government agencies in India, as of 2019 the ratio has increased to 1020 girls to 1000 boys.

With those things in mind, the independent did a series of interviews with other people in the Shillai Hatti community that adds more context

Kundan Singh Shastri, general secretary of the Kendriya Hatti Samiti or local council, tells the Press Trust of India that Jodidara was "invented thousands of years ago to save a family's agricultural land from further division"

The way Kundan sees it is that more men in a joint family meant better security, more hands for work, and fewer internal conflicts. And while the custom is not linked to caste and cuts across the social spectrum, it is gradually fading in the face of modernity – shrinking landholdings, urban migration, education, and individualism.

One of the villagers the Independent spoke with was Raghuvir Tomar, 55 who they asked about the Jodidara practice

"It is an age-old tradition, going back to the time people first settled in this part [...] There were no roads, no transport. The nearest town was 70km away. Scarcity shaped everything – how we married, how we lived. [...] If brothers marry the same woman, there's no question of splitting farmland. The family stays united, the land stays intact. Sometimes it's not just two – four or five brothers may marry the same woman." - Independent

Tomar and Sunita are part of the Hatti community, which consists of roughly 300,000 people living in around 400 villages in the area. For them the tradition traces back to the Hindu epic Mahabharata, in which Draupadi, the daughter of the king of Panchala, married five brothers, referred to as the Pandavas. Many in the Hatti community consider themselves descendants' of the Pandavas

The story goes that the brothers attend a competition in disguise, the winner of the competition would get the princess Draupadi's hand in marriage. One of the brother's succeeds and when they return home, the brother tells his mother that he won a contest. Without knowing what the prize was, his mother instructed him to share is reward with his brothers, which is how all five brothers became married to Draupadi

While Tomar himself did not have a Jodidara marriage, his parents did

"My father was in such a marriage. I had one mother and two fathers. We called them elder dad and younger dad. There was no concept of a biological father – just one united family," he says.

He didn't follow the tradition himself, only because of timing, he says. "I married earlier. My younger brother was still studying, and he married later. Otherwise, maybe we would've done the same."

He estimates that 30 to 40 households in Shillai still practise it. "This couple went viral because of social media. But for us, it's not news." - The Independent

But like anything, not all of these stories end happily. The Independent spoke with a woman away from the crowds, who agreed to speak under anonymity

"My husband has six more brothers. I was married to only one person. But when I came here after the marriage, there were discussions – do we really need seven daughters-in-law for seven sons? And if that happens then the home will be divided into seven parts. So I was told, your husband is one person only but you have to take in another brother. Otherwise, the property would be divided."

She said that while she had wed one man, she was "compelled to take another" and told to "take care of the brother as well" – a euphemism for sex.

"Child, this is what it was like earlier – you were forced and did not have much choice. We were told to either follow the norm or leave and return home. I am not literate, so I had to do as I was told," she said, before clarifying: "No, no – not forced. Just pressured."

Her own parents, she said, accepted the arrangement without question. But she expressed puzzlement over younger women still entering into Jodidara marriages. "The practice is in decline. And the girl [Sunita], unlike us, is educated. So what was the pressure for her?"

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Tomar and Sunita are part of the Hatti community, which consists of roughly 300,000 people living in around 400 villages in the area. For them the tradition traces back to the Hindu epic Mahabharata, in which Draupadi, the daughter of the king of Panchala, married five brothers, referred to as the Pandavas. Many in the Hatti community consider themselves descendants' of the Pandavas

The story goes that the brothers attend a competition in disguise, the winner of the competition would get the princess Draupadi's hand in marriage. One of the brother's succeeds and when they return home, the brother tells his mother that he won a contest. Without knowing what the prize was, his mother instructed him to share is reward with his brothers, which is how all five brothers became married to Draupadi

While Tomar himself did not have a Jodidara marriage, his parents did

"My father was in such a marriage. I had one mother and two fathers. We called them elder dad and younger dad. There was no concept of a biological father – just one united family," he says.

He didn't follow the tradition himself, only because of timing, he says. "I married earlier. My younger brother was still studying, and he married later. Otherwise, maybe we would've done the same."

He estimates that 30 to 40 households in Shillai still practise it. "This couple went viral because of social media. But for us, it's not news." - The Independent

But like anything, not all of these stories end happily. The Independent spoke with a woman away from the crowds, who agreed to speak under anonymity

"My husband has six more brothers. I was married to only one person. But when I came here after the marriage, there were discussions – do we really need seven daughters-in-law for seven sons? And if that happens then the home will be divided into seven parts. So I was told, your husband is one person only but you have to take in another brother. Otherwise, the property would be divided."

She said that while she had wed one man, she was "compelled to take another" and told to "take care of the brother as well" – a euphemism for sex.

"Child, this is what it was like earlier – you were forced and did not have much choice. We were told to either follow the norm or leave and return home. I am not literate, so I had to do as I was told," she said, before clarifying: "No, no – not forced. Just pressured."

Her own parents, she said, accepted the arrangement without question. But she expressed puzzlement over younger women still entering into Jodidara marriages. "The practice is in decline. And the girl [Sunita], unlike us, is educated. So what was the pressure for her?"

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Tomar and Sunita are part of the Hatti community, which consists of roughly 300,000 people living in around 400 villages in the area. For them the tradition traces back to the Hindu epic Mahabharata, in which Draupadi, the daughter of the king of Panchala, married five brothers, referred to as the Pandavas. Many in the Hatti community consider themselves descendants' of the Pandavas

The story goes that the brothers attend a competition in disguise, the winner of the competition would get the princess Draupadi's hand in marriage. One of the brother's succeeds and when they return home, the brother tells his mother that he won a contest. Without knowing what the prize was, his mother instructed him to share is reward with his brothers, which is how all five brothers became married to Draupadi

While Tomar himself did not have a Jodidara marriage, his parents did

"My father was in such a marriage. I had one mother and two fathers. We called them elder dad and younger dad. There was no concept of a biological father – just one united family," he says.

He didn't follow the tradition himself, only because of timing, he says. "I married earlier. My younger brother was still studying, and he married later. Otherwise, maybe we would've done the same."

He estimates that 30 to 40 households in Shillai still practise it. "This couple went viral because of social media. But for us, it's not news." - The Independent

But like anything, not all of these stories end happily. The Independent spoke with a woman away from the crowds, who agreed to speak under anonymity

"My husband has six more brothers. I was married to only one person. But when I came here after the marriage, there were discussions – do we really need seven daughters-in-law for seven sons? And if that happens then the home will be divided into seven parts. So I was told, your husband is one person only but you have to take in another brother. Otherwise, the property would be divided."

She said that while she had wed one man, she was "compelled to take another" and told to "take care of the brother as well" – a euphemism for sex.

"Child, this is what it was like earlier – you were forced and did not have much choice. We were told to either follow the norm or leave and return home. I am not literate, so I had to do as I was told," she said, before clarifying: "No, no – not forced. Just pressured."

Her own parents, she said, accepted the arrangement without question. But she expressed puzzlement over younger women still entering into Jodidara marriages. "The practice is in decline. And the girl [Sunita], unlike us, is educated. So what was the pressure for her?"

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Tomar and Sunita are part of the Hatti community, which consists of roughly 300,000 people living in around 400 villages in the area. For them the tradition traces back to the Hindu epic Mahabharata, in which Draupadi, the daughter of the king of Panchala, married five brothers, referred to as the Pandavas. Many in the Hatti community consider themselves descendants' of the Pandavas

The story goes that the brothers attend a competition in disguise, the winner of the competition would get the princess Draupadi's hand in marriage. One of the brother's succeeds and when they return home, the brother tells his mother that he won a contest. Without knowing what the prize was, his mother instructed him to share is reward with his brothers, which is how all five brothers became married to Draupadi

While Tomar himself did not have a Jodidara marriage, his parents did

"My father was in such a marriage. I had one mother and two fathers. We called them elder dad and younger dad. There was no concept of a biological father – just one united family," he says.

He didn't follow the tradition himself, only because of timing, he says. "I married earlier. My younger brother was still studying, and he married later. Otherwise, maybe we would've done the same."

He estimates that 30 to 40 households in Shillai still practise it. "This couple went viral because of social media. But for us, it's not news." - The Independent

But like anything, not all of these stories end happily. The Independent spoke with a woman away from the crowds, who agreed to speak under anonymity

"My husband has six more brothers. I was married to only one person. But when I came here after the marriage, there were discussions – do we really need seven daughters-in-law for seven sons? And if that happens then the home will be divided into seven parts. So I was told, your husband is one person only but you have to take in another brother. Otherwise, the property would be divided."

She said that while she had wed one man, she was "compelled to take another" and told to "take care of the brother as well" – a euphemism for sex.

"Child, this is what it was like earlier – you were forced and did not have much choice. We were told to either follow the norm or leave and return home. I am not literate, so I had to do as I was told," she said, before clarifying: "No, no – not forced. Just pressured."

Her own parents, she said, accepted the arrangement without question. But she expressed puzzlement over younger women still entering into Jodidara marriages. "The practice is in decline. And the girl [Sunita], unlike us, is educated. So what was the pressure for her?"

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

Asked about any other challenges she faced, the woman was reluctant to elaborate. "Let it go. It has been a while. I am old now. There are a lot of problems. The responsibility of two husbands is a lot. You should keep one husband happy or another? Then you have to look after them."  - Independent

Susheel Tomar is 33 and lives with his wife and two of his brothers, all of which are married to her

The men who shared one or two wives were not always full or half-brothers. A Toda woman when married was automatically married to her husband's brothers. When the wife became pregnant, one husband would ceremonially give a bow and arrow to the wife, and would be the father of that child. When the next child arrived, same husband who performed that ceremony continues to be called father even though child is not biologically related to him, unless another husband would perform the ceremony and become the father - Wikipedia

But India is far from the only place fraternal polyandry occurs. Much of Benedict's paper on the topic gathers historical data from other researchers, so it's hard to say how frequently these kinds of relationships still occur, but based on that information she found:

• In Alaska, fraternal polyandry was practiced among the Aleuts and Tagara tribes, seemingly primarily out of poverty. Having a polyandrous relationship pools resources
• In Hawaii fraternal polyandry is though to occur in close families, one such arrangement occurred when a pair of brothers did not wish to part ways from each other, and chose to marry one woman between them
• On the other side of the Himalayans from the Indian families, Tibetan families practice a similar style of polyandry, unions are almost exclusively of a specific class allotted a plot of land that could not be divided among several offspring per generation. Instead these families choose polyandry as a form of population control and prevent the land from being divided into unusable parcels
• Like northern India many Tibetans once practiced female infantcide, so this is one of many reasons polyandry was not only desirable but almost a necessity, as researcher Goldstein put it in his 1987 paper 'When brothers share a wife" "And Tibet, lying at extremely high altitudes, is so barren and bleak that Tibetans would starve without resorting to this mechanism." - MSN.com
• In the remote Dolpa region of Nepal Dutch charity SNV estimated that 8 in 10 Dolpa households were polyandrous about a generation ago. But today satellite dishes are common and tourism introduces new ideals of romance, now that figure is closer to one in five, though plenty still believe in the old ways
• In 2013 Tashi Sangmo was interviewed by news agency AFP, where she recalled marrying a 14-year-old neighbour when she was 17. As tradition dictated, she was marrying her husband's younger brother as well.
• "Things are easier this way because everything we have stays in one family. Two brothers bring in the money and it is me who decides what to do with it."
• Her husband's brother, Pasang, joined the marriage without question. They live in a village 4,000m above sea level, where daily life is harsh. Their children call both the men father, with little concern for biology.
• Pema, a Dolpa man who shares a wife with is elder brother says "If I felt jealousy, then I would go and marry someone else,"
• Choyocap Gurung, 67, who once shared a wife with two brothers. "With many brothers the household is stronger and the children have better chances for the future"

• In 1988 Tibet university performed a survey across Tibet and found that 13.3% of families were polyandric. A 2008 study of several villages in Xigaze and Qamdo prefectures found that 20-50% of the families were polyandric, with the majority having two husbands. For some remote settlements, the number was as high as 90%. Polyandry is very rare among urban residents or non-agricultural households. In 1981 the Tibetan government made a regulation that refused to acknowledge polyandrous marriages going forward, but the practice clearly still continued and those unions merely registered the wife and the eldest husband, there has been no sign of prosecution on these grounds - Wikipedia

• In 1976 many Tibetans were exiled from China and 83.3% wound up in India, bringing their own practices with them Fraternal polyandry is a way for Tibetans to avoid having to build multiple houses every time a male in the family marries. One wife married to many brothers allows for less resources to be used on one brother and his one wife. Polyandry is also a way for Tibetans to not have to marry non-Tibetans whilst they are settled in India. 

Associated

Associated polyandry is when a woman marries a second man who is not necessarily the brother of the first. These two marriages occurred in separate ceremonies, and fostered a clear hierarchy between the husbands, with the second husband as the junior to the first

• Alaska
• the Aleuts in Alaska who allowed a woman to have a second husband because he would be an assistant to her first husband. The woman was "praised…as being skillful" in the community for acquiring a second husband to help the first. Her acquisition was a form of wealth in that she could provide food, clothing, and shelter for both husbands
• Meanwhile some Netsilik families in Alaska practiced associated polyandry but less cooperatively. The men did not assist each other and the importance of the wife maintaining equality between the men with regards to sexual access was heavily stressed for fear of one murdering the other. For the Netsilik, polyandry was a function of the scarcity of available women.
• Like the Himalayan communities, the Netsilik were known to practice infanticide, though the reasons are much less understood. Theories are varied from children being less productive so having less women leads to less children, food scarcity and a way to control population, but ultimately it seems to be tied to the harsh environments the Netsilik lived in and the lack of resources 
• Also in Alaska, the Tlingit people allowed associated polyandry if a "brother or close relative" could seduce the wife. If the second husband avoided murder by the first husband, the second brought gifts for the first, assisted the first husband in providing for the household, and assumed the position of junior husband
• On the Marquesas Islands, polyandry was exclusive to powerful and influential families, such as that of the chief. It's thought that the second husband enriched the household by providing assistance to the first husband, and helped protect the household when the first husband away and would have sexual access to the wife in these periods.
• a Cubeo community in the Northwest Amazon basin. A woman had an affair with the younger brother of her husband. This younger brother had been unable to find a wife because of the seclusion of their community and the scarcity of women. The older brother avoided divorce by allowing his brother into the family. Goldman reported that the wife "fed both men and was a sexual partner of the junior husband only when her first husband was away,"
• The Paliyans of India accepted associated polyandry when the first husband was ill and unable to sexually satisfy his wife The first husband resented the second, but chose to maintain the relationship rather than lose his wife

Polykoity

Polykoity is when a woman is married to one man, but has sex with other men to whom she is not married. This is different from cheating in that the husband is aware of the sexual activity, and usually supports it.

Laura Benedict interviewed a practitioner of polykoity who asked to be called "Asia."

"Asia was legally married to one man and engaged in regular sex with a friend of the husband, who lived in the home with the couple. The husband was aware of the extra-marital relationship, and was integral to the pair remaining sexually active. The husband did not resent the second sexual relationship; rather, he encouraged their sexual relations (personal communication). This is similar to the Cherokee in New York, for whom sex was not exclusive to marriage, and married women had sex with whomever they decided, including travelers"

One common form of polykoity was seen in the practice of partible paternity, the concept that more than one man is the genetic father of a single child.

• The Ache of Paraguay practiced partible paternity by adding a father to her child, the woman gained resources; by accepting secondary paternity over a child, the man gained sexual access and increased alliances in the community
• Partible paternity was found in many South American communities, such as the Cashinahua in Peru, who chose to acknowledge the partible only when it suited the family
• The Ese Eja reckoned partible paternity by the sexual relations of the mother, but also the partible maternity by adoption. An Ese Eja couple was expected to give their first child "to the wife's parents" and their "second to the husband's parents,"
• In Brazil, the Matis were on the brink of extinction in 1983 due to exposure to outside individuals that brought diseases the Matis had no resistances to. At this time there were only 87 individuals remaining and something had to be done to keep the community alive. Among many survival tactics, the adoption of partible paternity played a big part in ensuring the survival of the community 
• Several south american communities, including the Yanomami the Mẽbengokre, and the Kulina believed that a child could not possibly be conceived with only one father. These societies believed the sperm built a ball inside the woman until it was large enough to create a fetus, and that the fetus blocked the passage of the menstrual blood. They believed the woman was only a carrying vessel, and did not contribute to the creation of the fetus
• The Cashinahua and Canela women of Brazil chose which men to accept as partible fathers to the child based on social aspects and the expectation that the child would inherit certain traits
• The Tukanoan denied belief in the partible, yet several men would simultaneously observe the rituals required of a father upon the birth of his child
• In Venezuela, Barí women chose secondary fathers as insurance against the high mortality rate
• The Curripaco allowed the brothers of the husband sexual access to the wife to create the partible
• The Piora believed the semen of the father created the fetus, but that the prayers of other men could nourish the fetus, creating the partible
• The Ye'kwana and the Warao believed that the extra semen provided food and nourishment to the growing fetus, and that the fetus would not be healthy without extra semen.
• In contrast, the Siona and Secoya of Ecuador believed all sex was dangerous, but automatically bestowed the partible to the brothers of the husband without those men having sex with the woman

Secondary

Secondary Polyandry is when the original couple part ways and each acquires new mates, but they continue to have sexual relations with each other whenever they feel like it. Using modern terminology the practitioners would not have recognized, secondary polyandry might be termed divorce-with-benefits

• For the G/wi of Botswana, secondary polyandry was a compromise between one married couple and a friend of the husband. The wife divorced the husband and married the friend, but wanted to maintain sexual contact with the first husband. This instance differs from the associated polyandry described above because the woman divorced the first husband, and he did not live with the new couple, nor did he contribute to their household as the junior husband of associated polyandry would do. 
• The Irigwe of Nigeria "did not recognize divorce," but couples frequently moved on to other sexual partners and marriages anyway. Husbands married new wives, and wives married new husbands. In such cases, the spouses moved on to another marriage, but maintained sexual contact with their previous spouses, whenever they both wanted. This was an accepted and expected practice in the society. In this community, co-husbands reported no jealousy, but avoided each other because of the belief that the one could cause harm or death to the other just by his presence

• The Ache of Paraguay allowed the practice of secondary polyandry when one husband and wife couple each took another spouse as per a paper by Hill and Hurtado 1996. Hill and Hurtado did not specify how the four engaged in sexual relations, even though the "four adults slept together at the same fire,

Walking Marriage

Walking marriage is a situation in which the woman is not married, but chooses her sexual partners from a specific set of eligible men

• The Lele of Kasai in the Congo practice walking marriage in the form of a "wife of the village.". The Lele practiced both polygyny and polyandry, with men in the community often taking multiple wives (and being forced to pay fines if he mistreated them in any way). Though it's not outright stated in resources I read, the practice of polygyny is likely what lead to the need for a "wife of the village." If so many women were married off to so few men, that was bound to create a disparity and cause issues.
• "To be the wife of the village was a great honor, she would be compared to a chief and if she died the whole village mourned, not in silence as for a commoner but by dancing with special music, as for aristocrats" - Lele of Kasai

• Village wives were sometimes the ambassadors of peace between warring villages, social tradition mandated that these women we welcomed as honored guests and should be treated with the utmost respect. They would then discuss with the clan leaders what could be done to resolve the issues between their villages and then escorted safely home
• Being a village wife was usually a hereditary role, and usually the daughters of village wives would be traded to other villages, but sometimes even stolen
• Village wives had strict rules for which men she was allowed to have sex with, usually allocated to an age-set of the population. She was often forbidden from doing most chores and the village would provide for her.
• When men stayed with her they brought her gifts and eventually she would be asked to choose 5-6 men to live with her and become her house husbands. She was still permitted to have relations with men outside of the household as long as it was out in the forest away from prying eyes
• When pregnant she was only permitted to sleep with her house husbands as it was believed any outside intercourse could lead to the death of the child
• This practice is thought to have largely died out due to Christian missionaries
• Similar practices are reported among the Dinga, Pende and Mbunda

• For the Nayar of India, women took pride that the number of lovers one had outnumbered others in the community. Before puberty, a Nayar girl ceremoniously married a member of her caste; at sexual maturity, she could have sex with any man with whom she chose as long as he was from her caste or higher. She was likely to accept him as a partner as long as he brought her small gifts during the festivals
• Among the Mosuo of China, a woman will invite a suitor to her home. He will arrive after dark and be sure to leave before sunrise. There is no expectation of exclusivity, but these couplings are frequently long term and mutually fulfilling. Mosuo men do not live with their sexual partners or their children, but they do invest in their children.

• Here, the families live in a world without fathers, without marriage and without the nuclear family. At the centre of each household is the grandmother, surrounded by her daughters and their children, with lineage traced solely through women. Men's roles are limited largely to procreation, often with little expectation of raising the children they father.
• Some hail this as a rare matriarchal society, an arrangement that seems almost utopian in its egalitarianism. Others argue it is merely the mirror image of patriarchy.

• The Mosuo are one of the most well known practitioners of walking marriages, so much so it has become part of their cultural identity and is expected by tourists. There are questions as to how much of the modern practice is based in tradition vs what has become expected for these communities.

Familial

Familial polyandry is the expectation of sexual relations with people outside the marriage. This expectation can come from the husband, from either of their families, or from the community at large. In familial polyandry, the brother of the husband frequently expects sexual access to the wife, especially when the husband is away.

• Alaska
• The Aleuts of Alaska allowed the nephew of the husband sexual access to the wife, but no just that: "his wives, his wives' sisters, his older brothers' wives, his maternal uncles' wives, cousins, concubines (slaves), and transvestites."
• The Tlingit of Alaska allowed the brothers and nephews of the husband sexual access to the wife
• At Point Hope in Alaska, men offered their wives to travelers and friends in a show of hospitality
• The Tigara of Alaska followed the same practice, and the women resented being used in such a way
• The Pawnee tribal group of Kansas had a complicated set of expectations that included both sides of the family. The brothers of the husband had sexual access to the wife, and the sisters of the wife had sexual access to the husband. In addition, the nephew of the husband usually lived with the couple before puberty, and it was expected that his first sexual experience would be with the wife. This group of tribes included the Skiri Pawnee, three south bands of Pawnee, the Arikara, the Wichita, and the Kitsai
• For the Cherokee of New York, the community expected women to be sexually available to others, but it was wholly her decision. This situation was similar to walking marriage, but was different because Cherokee women frequently married, while in walking marriages, the women do not marry.
• The Matis of Brazil held festivals throughout the year where they expected marital couples to refrain from sex with each other, but to be available to members of the larger community other than their usual partners. For the Matis, their usual partners included their spouse, the siblings of their spouse, and their cross-cousins. To refuse sexual access to one's spouse, a sibling of one's spouse, or a cross-cousin was considered rude and inexcusable. During festival times, it was rude to have sex with any of one's usual partners, and it was considered rude to refuse sex to a member of the wider community
• In the Himalayan Mountain region, the Pahari of Garhwal extended sexual access of wives to the brothers of the husband, even though they claimed that they did not participate in polyandry
• In Eastern Russia, the Koryak would "exchange wives for a night, or that the wife would be placed at the disposal of the transient guest,"

Conclusion

Looking at the broader picture, By and large the communities that practiced these types of marriages did so because of scarcity, either of resources or of women. These methods were also the best way to ensure the survival of children in the community, which in turn ensured the survival of the community.But it's also easy to understand why many of these traditions are dying off, both because the circumstances that necessitated them have been or are being addressed, and that the people that would be involved have developed different perspectives about bodily autonomy and relationships due to exposure to the wider world

Few of these traditions and cultures created an environment where the woman was truly in control. While on the surface some may appear that way, it's hard to account for the impact of social pressures that have been present for most if not all of their lives. There is an inherent imbalance between the young person expected of carrying on these traditions and their elders and a community. And since many of these groups have been somewhat isolated or may not even exist anymore, not nearly enough study has been done to fully understand the social context around these arrangementsAs for Sunita and her brother husbands, while their relationship may appear to follow tradition, it may not be the same as once was performed. One of the brothers works and lives abroad, so the reality is she would be primarily only be responsible for one husband for most of the time and it could very well be this union is really more of a business arrangement to protect the family land.

The Negi family that Sunita married into has deep roots in the community, and it may have been this was just a formality, based on the expectations around such a respected family. Both Sunita and her husbands are well educated which puts them at a unique advantage that many who came before them didn't have.

And that is the same for many of the young people coming from communities and cultures that may have once been pressured into such arrangements. Now they have much more freedom to choose if this is right for them, and if that's what they choose, good for them.

In recent years we have seen more acceptance of polyamorous lifestyles in the west and like any relationship, whether or not it's healthy and/or balanced is based entirely on the people within the relationship and how they show up for and respect each other.

Source List

• https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/india/polyandry-india-marriage-brothers-hatti-himachal-pradesh-b2806711.html

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygyny_in_animals

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyandry

• https://genome.cshlp.org/content/early/2015/03/13/gr186684114

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acorn_woodpecker

• https://oasis.library.unlv.edu/award/28/

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyandry_in_India 

• https://www.scribd.com/document/996355213/1975-Polyandry-in-the-Himalayas-by-Parmar-s

• https://news.un.org/en/story/2003/10/83772-un-agency-deplores-infanticide-girls-india-praises-government-study

• https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301197788_Girl_child_and_female_foeticide_in_Himachal_Pradesh_A_Case_Study

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahabharata 

• https://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/we-are-proud-of-it-what-two-himachal-pradesh-brothers-said-after-marrying-the-same-woman-hatti-tribe-101753003155962.html

• https://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/other/communities-where-women-marry-multiple-men-exist-all-over-the-world-they-often-have-one-thing-in-common/ar-AA1Og5q0

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyandry_in_Tibet#Fraternal_polyandry

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netsilik

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matis

• https://peacefulsocieties.uncg.edu/societies/gwi/

• https://archive.org/details/leleofkasai0000doug_y6h3/page/128/mode/2up

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mosuo#Walking_marriages

• https://www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/other/communities-where-women-marry-multiple-men-exist-all-over-the-world-they-often-have-one-thing-in-common/ar-AA1Og5q0

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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