The Georgia Guidestones


The Georgia Guidestones: Fascinating art piece, social commentary, philosophical gravestone...or Satanic ritual site? 

It's known as America's Stonehenge. A 19-foot high stone monument in Elbert County, Georgia. Erected in 1980, it has never been fully explained. Or...explained at all, really. Everything about the Georgia Guidestones feels like a purposeful attempt at being obtuse and generating conversation and disagreement.

Or maybe it's simply an expensive attempt at trolling. After all, if you can get Alex Jones to rage about something you've done, you're clearly part of the New World Order. 

The story goes that in 1979, a man using the pseudonym R.C. Christian contacted the Elberton Granite Finishing Company on "behalf of a small group of loyal Americans" and commissioned what would become the Georgia Guidestones. This person explained to the company that the stones would function as "a compass, a calendar, and clock and should be capable of withstanding catastrophic events". The company figured this person was a bit off ("a nut") and gave Christian a ridiculously high quote for the job. 

Episode: File 0068: A Guide to Rock and Ruin Pt. 1

Release Date: April 29 2022

Researched and presented by Halli

Christian accepted the quote and arranged payment. During this, Christian said he represented a group that had "been planning the guidestones for 20 years" and that they wanted to remain anonymous. All in all, weird. Very weird, but still not completely out there.

Also strange was how Christian and his group handled the land on which the guidestones would be erected. The land was purchased from farm owner Wayne Mullinex, but he and his children were given lifetime cattle grazing rights on the site. Generous, certainly, but still a little strange.

And on March 22, 1980, the Georgia Guidestones were unveiled. Ownership of the land and guidestones was transferred to Elbert County.

And really, that should be the end of the story. A bizarre monument commissioned by an anonymous group in the middle of cattle grazing land. It would be an idiosyncrasy, a strange thing for tourists to gawk at.

If they were blank. But they're not, at all.

Ten guidelines are inscribed on the guidestones. Ten guidelines in eight languages, "one language on each face of the four large upright stones". The languages are: English, Spanish, Swahili, Hindi, Hebrew, Arabic, Traditional Chinese, and Russian.

Here's what the guidelines say:

  1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.

  2. Guide reproduction wisely - improving fitness and diversity.

  3. Unite humanity with a living new language.

  4. Rule passion - faith - tradition - and all things with tempered reason.

  5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.

  6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.

  7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.

  8. Balance personal rights with social duties.

  9. Prize truth - beauty - love - seeking harmony with the infinite.

  10. Be not a cancer on the Earth - Leave room for nature - Leave room for nature.

The guidestones also act as an astronomical calendar. Every day at noon, the sun shines through a narrow hole in the stones and illuminates the day's date on an engraving. And on top of that, a separate tablet speaks to a time capsule buried under the surface of the guidestones, but the dates on which the capsule was buried and when it should be opened are strangely blank.

I found a quote from a Wired journalist in 2009 talking about how difficult it was to get the astronomical part of the guidestones exact.

"The astrological specifications for the Guidestones were so complex that Fendley had to retain the services of an astronomer from the University of Georgia to help implement the design. The four outer stones were to be oriented based on the limits of the sun's yearly migration. The center column needed two precisely calibrated features: a hole through which the North Star would be visible at all times, and a slot that was to align with the position of the rising sun during the solstices and equinoxes. The principal component of the capstone was a 7\8-inch aperture through which a beam of sunlight would pass at noon each day, shining on the center stone to indicate the day of the year."

But other astronomers have noted the guidestones are "crude"; "an abacus compared to Stonehenge's computer" (Loris Magnani of the University of Georgia).

Mysteries of the Guidestones: Conspiracy, New World Order, Massive Troll?

Everybody likes a good mystery done in the shadows or under the cover of night. Identities hidden, missions secretive and kind of skullduggery-ish. And some find it amusing that no one knows who funded the guidestones. Well, no one knows except one man. The only person who knows Christian's identity is the banker who helped moved the funds to pay for the guidestones. And he swears he'll never tell. So that's a dead end for sure.

But secrecy also lends to paranoia and the guidelines inscribed on the stones have led some to believe that the funders are part of a cult, Satanists, or maybe even the dreaded and terrifying "New World Order". Like I said, when Alex Jones gets mad at what you've done, clearly you're feeding into his particular brand of nonsensical devil-worshipping, blood-drinking, baby-eating fantasies. Jones called the stones "a cold testament to the Elite's sacred mission" in his 2008 film "Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement".

Do not watch that film. Go listen to the Knowledge Fight guys break it down and save yourself the brain cells. It's complete nonsense.

What is more interesting to me is how conspiracists outside of Jones have viewed the guidestones. Let's talk for a moment about Mark Dice. Now, I dislike this guy on principle. He's a right-wing "commentator, YouTuber, pundit, activist, and author". Already I can hear the strains of "New World Order!" and "Satantists", not unlike Alex Jones. But Dice actually used the Georgia Guidestones to stake his claim to fame. In 2005, he gained notoriety and publicity for his conspiracy theories about the guidestones. In May of 2005, Dice advocated on his website for the Georgia Guidestones to "be smashed into a million pieces, and then the rubble used for a construction project". He said the guidestones "have a deep Satanic origin and message" and that "the New World Order is written all over them".

I'm not going to dive that deep into the whole Satanist/New World Order schitck that guys like Jones and Dice throw out there to make pearl-clutching religious nuts send them money. Because it's all a grift, even if some of these conspiracy theorists actually believe what they're saying. And for Dice, not shocking to anyone, he also believes in the Illuminati controlling world governments, that things like the Super Bowl halftime show are "gay Pride propaganda", that Black Lives Matter protesters are largely "black thugs who are rioting over this black thug" (concerning the murder of Keith Lamont Scott in 2016), and helps people be convinced that the Star Wars film Rogue One is nothing but "feminist propaganda".

So, he's cool and shit. Honestly, Mark Dice is worth his own episode, so I'll note that for the future.

There have been attempts at "decoding" or "translating" the Georgia Guidestones. You can find "Brad Meltzer's Decoded: Georgia Stonehenge Has Apocalyptic Powers" from the History Channel. It's all meant to get views and the commenters on the video are WILD.

Given how reactive many of us are to anything that seems "out of the normal" (and you can make your own definition of normal; it's like build-your-own-reality Mad Libs anymore), it's not surprising that people are still speculating on the Georgia Guidestones. Do I think it would be interesting if the person or group who funded it came forward and explained its purpose? Absolutely. Have I spent much time reflecting on the guidestones past the writing of this episode? No. They're fascinating and mysterious, but because I don't believe in the New World Order, the stones are, right now, just stones. A little weird and rather interesting, and if I'm ever in the area, I'm definitely visiting. But in my mind, they're a poor man's Stonehenge and worth about as much brain power in reflecting on their existence and purpose. If there is a purpose at all.

After all, it could be a massive trolling attempt. And clearly it's worked.

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