My Immortal, Keanu Reeves


Keanu Reeves beloved actor, the man that said 'woah' and the internet's first boyfriend.

Born Sept 2 1964 in Beirut. He spent much of his early life traveling across the world with his mother and sister, his father having cut out around the time he was 3. His family finally settled in Toronto which is where grew up

Keanu hit it big in 1989 with the film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and from there on he'd go to play a wide variety of roles. In addition to acting he also has done directing, documentary film-making and is a bass guitarist for the band Dogstar. He also enjoys writing and philanthropy

Episode: File 0003: Bastet Reeves and the Holy Bible

Release Date: November 6 2020

Researched and presented by Cayla

A Legend is Born

If you've spent any time on the internet in the last decade, you assuredly have heard that Keanu is immortal.

In October 2008 a picture came up on Reddit commentating how much this painting of Paul Mounet an actor from the early 1900s looked like Keanu. The internet did what the internet does and began to dig, finding a handful of historical figures that uncannily look like the modern actor, quickly spawning the website 

Obviously, this is internet lore. The actual "facts" you can find are pretty flimsy and break with the slightest examination. But for the sake of argument, I've taken a deep dive to see if this is a myth that could even be argued

Let's Get to Know Our Hero

Keanu is infamous for his quiet life, rarely seen at big hollywood parties and almost never appearing in the tabloids. Really if you think about it, what do you actually know about him?

This shroud of mystery is part of what drives this conspiracy, so here's what we know

A Tragic Backstory

Keanu Reeves with friends at the Leah Posluns Theatre School, 1980
Keanu Reeves with friends at the Leah Posluns Theatre School, 1980
  • Keanu didn't have the easiest life, with all the traveling in his youth he reportedly went to 4 different high schools in a 5 year span.
  • He was good at English, creative writing and chess and struggled with maths and science. he excelled at basketball and baseball and was such a skilled ice-hockey goalie he was nicknamed The Wall
  • His acting talent earned him a place at a prestigious performing-arts school, but the experience was traumatic.

'It was a very small school and I guess I didn't fit in. I had conflicts and run-ins with the staff. The principal and I didn't see eye to eye. I was one of those "Why?" kids - I asked too many questions about everything. I couldn't stop even if it got me into trouble." 'I wanted my autonomy, and if you wanted to impose something on me, then you and I would have a problem.'

Keanu and River Phoenix
Keanu and River Phoenix
  • As a teenager was so rebellious he ended up getting expelled at 16
  • His mother would remarry a handful of times, but the actor never really bonded with any of these father figures
  • At 17 he left home and arrived in Hollywood when he was 20
  • In October 1993 River Phoenix, one of Keanu's good friends died of a drug overdose at 23

"I enjoyed his company. Very much, And enjoyed his mind and his spirit and his soul. We brought good out in each other. He was a real original thinker. He was not the status quo. In anything."

Keanu and his sister Kim
Keanu and his sister Kim
  • During the 90s his sister Kim, a fellow actress became incredibly sick with cancer and Keanu took over as her primary caregiver
  • On December 24, 1999, Reeves' girlfriend, Jennifer Syme, gave birth eight months into her pregnancy to Ava Archer Syme-Reeves, who was stillborn. The couple broke up several weeks later.
  • On April 2, 2001, Syme was killed when her vehicle collided with three parked cars on Cahuenga Boulevard in Los Angeles. She was being treated for depression at the time, and police found prescription medication in her car

Celebrity Gossip

Keanu's ventures into the tabloid's can be summed up in 3 lines
    • Reeves was sued by a woman who suggested that he had used hypnosis and impersonated her ex-husband to impregnate her. She sought $3 million in spousal support from the actor. DNA quickly disproved these claims
    • He secretly married billionaire mogul David Geffen. There is absolutely no evidence to support this, as Keanu says:

"it's as if [the rumor] exists in another universe that doesn't have much to do with me."

    • Within months of each other 2 women broke into his house
Keanu's ventures into the tabloid's can be summed up in 3 lines

Reeves about his privacy

Keanu receiving his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2005
Keanu receiving his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2005
Keanu's ventures into the tabloid's can be summed up in 3 lines

"I'm not interested in showing anybody what's behind the curtain, "I like watching a good documentary about how something was made. I just don't want it to be my life."

Because of Bill and Ted being his breakout role many assume he's not very bright. When asked if had comfort in the way that people underestimated his intelligence, his response was:

"I don't know how much intelligence I have"

In 2010 Sad Keanu would grace the internet and the actor was thrust back in the internet's spotlight which he wasn't crazy about

"I was made aware of it. And I thought it was funny. Yeah. But, you know, it's still a drag to get your picture taken when you're eating a sandwich. It's a downer. Even though, conceptually, what was going on was pretty funny."

Sad Keanu circa 2010
Sad Keanu circa 2010
June 15 was designated Keanu Day by Sad Keanu enthusiasts

That's pretty much what we know about him, we know he's altruistic and has been caught many times giving time and money to charities, film crews, friends, family and never once seeking attention or recognition

His Constantine co-star Shia LaBeouf explained how mysterious Reeves is.

"I've worked with him for a year and a couple of months, but I don't really know him that much, I don't think he hangs out with other humans that much."

Director Francis Lawrence:

"Do I really know Keanu after working with him? No. I know things about him: he's hardworking, he's generous, he's a sweet, sweet guy. But it's all just sort of on the surface."

Erwin Stoff, Reeves' manager, has known him for decades and can't seem to crack the surface either.

"Keanu is a really private person, He's sort of perfected for himself a way of keeping a distance from people."

Gus Van Sant (to GQ magazine)

"There's been times I've mentioned something and he all of a sudden takes this stupid thing out of his back pocket and writes down notes, like some book I read or something like that. And I know that the motherfucker is actually reading that! He's going to find that book and read it, I know it

Some more fun facts from Inktank

  • He loves ballroom dancing.
  • His English mother, Patricia Taylor, designed costumes for rock stars like Alice Cooper.
  • He reportedly wrestled with Alice Cooper as a child. His childhood friend said that Alice "tied us up like a human knot."
  • He learned over 200 martial arts moves for The Matrix Reloaded.
  • He still has the coat from The Matrix.
  • He's left-handed, but plays the bass right-handed.
  • He played an on-and-off again hockey game that lasted 10 years with strangers he happened to meet on the street one day.
  • He speaks French.
  • He claimed to see a ghost when he was a child, saying "I remember just staring at this suit which had no body or legs in it as it came into the room before disappearing. It was a double-breasted suit in white and I looked at my nanny, who was just as shocked as me. I just couldn't get back to sleep afterwards."
  • He turned down a role in Heat to play Hamlet at a small theater in Canada.
  • He wrote the text for "grown-up's picture book" Ode to Happiness.
  • His films have inspired him to pick up related hobbies, like horseback riding and surfing.
Keanu and Sandra Bullock
Keanu and Sandra Bullock
  • He starred in a Coca-Cola commercial when he was 16.
  • Despite having dyslexia, Keanu loves books and is a voracious reader.
  • He bought the Holy Shotgun prop from Constantine and gave it to director Francis Lawrence as a gift.
  • Remember that scene in The Matrix where Neo climbs out of the office window while on the phone with Morpheus? Keanu performed this scene himself, 34 stories up.
  • He knows how to live well. When asked in 1995 about his idea of happiness, he replied

"Lying in bed with my lover, riding my bike, sports, happy times with my friends, conversation, learning, the earth, dirt, a beautiful repast with friends, family with wine and glorious food and happy tidings and energy and zest and lust for life. I like being in the desert, in nature, being in extraordinary spaces in nature, high in a tree or in the dirt, hanging out with my family, my sisters."

  • One of his bass guitars, a yellow fender, was used by Kim Gordon in Sonic Youth's video for "100%".

Immortality, Timetravel, Reincarnation?

The rumors of Keanu's immortality are many but the theories aren't clear cut: some believe he's immortal, others believe he's a vampire, time traveler or he's reincarnating, or he's even Jesus

There are three common factors that are touted to support these theories:

  • He is incredibly kind and sincere. He;s given away millions of dollars, and that's just what we know about, whenever this point is brought up, this quote is cited

"Money is the last thing I think about. I could live on what I have already made for the next few centuries".

  • The similarities between him and a handful of historical figures is uncannily close
  • He doesn't age

These are pretty flimsy, and some of the hardcore Keanuans don't add much credence to the theory as quoted from an email that was sent to the owner of the Keanu is Immortal website

"Okay, I'll get right to the point. I've heard that Keanu is in fact, not willingly immortal but is being held by some sort of ancient organisation to do their bidding but he is allowed to do as he pleases to a point, so he went into acting to try and show signs of this. The interesting part is that in the matrix, he looks the same age as in the new "John Wick: Chapter 2" feature, that was released. Now, something I have noticed is that none of the pictures of him show any clear blemishes that could indicate an imposter, however, this may just be down to makeup and photoshop. I hope this information has helped at all."

So with all that in mind, let's break this down

What is Immortality?

Immortality has been a topic of myth and legend since humans began to tell stories. People as a whole tend to have deep-seated fears about death or refuse to consider their mortality at all. The dictionary definition of immortal is fairly straight forward: living forever; never dying or decaying.

But how that translates into myth and lore varies dramatically. Some immortals literally can't be harmed by anything, time, weapons or harsh words. They live forever and tend to be considered god-like. Some immortals just live and look young forever, but can be killed. Others need to be killed specific ways or with specific tools, wooden stakes or at the hands of another immortal

Immortality is often fantasized about by humans, but in stories there is almost always disadvantages. Sometimes immortality is used as punishment, it's not uncommon for immortal characters to be yearning for death

These characters are often tragic, living lonely existences and watching everyone and thing they love turn to dust

Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal with it and say, 'It's gone, and I'm better.' They're wrong. When the people you love are gone, you're alone. I miss being a part of their lives and them being a part of mine. I wonder what the present would be like if they were here - what we might have done together. I miss all the great things that will never be.

Immortality in Nature

The immortal jellyfish (turritopsis dohrnii)
The immortal jellyfish (turritopsis dohrnii)

So why do we die? Biologically there's a process called senescence which describes the gradual deterioration of normal function. Every time a cell divides it loses a small amount of its chromosomes and eventually there is not enough material left to divide and the cells begin to die and not be replaced. All living things go through this, with only a couple exceptions

The jellyfish called turritopsis dohrnii is the only "true immortal". Jellyfish have multiple stages of their lives, these jellies have the ability, when stressed, to revert back to a tiny blob of tissue and start over. They can just reroll whenever they feel like it. They can still die from outside factors, but age would never kill them


Hydras are small freshwater organisms, that look like tiny palm trees. they don't go through senescence at all. Instead of gradually deteriorating over time, a Hydra's stem cells have the capacity for infinite self-renewal. There's a gene F0X0 that all living things have that's like our expiry date, it determines how long our cells and bodies live


Lobsters also do not experience senescence. Unlike Hydra's reliance on particular genes, however, their longevity is thanks to them being able to endlessly repair their DNA. They also mate forever

These are the common ones but a few other honorable mentions

the risk of dying for naked mole rats appears to not increase as they get older

the world's oldest known non-colonial animal, a remarkably stress-resistant ocean-dwelling quahog clam named Ming, only died (accidentally) after a good 500 years when researchers dredged it up out of the ocean and wanted to find out how old it was;

Incredibly ancient bristle-cone pines seem to function just as smoothly as much younger trees do; a particular colony of quaking aspens is considered to be about 80,000 years old

So immortality is not as far-fetched as we may think

Dolly, the Cloned Sheep: Credit: The Roslin Institute, Creative Commons 2.0
Dolly, the Cloned Sheep: Credit: The Roslin Institute, Creative Commons 2.0

Immortality in Science

So there's natural immortality, but us humans are also on a science driven quest to achieve the same thing.

There's a couple ways that we're trying to do this:

  • At Northwest U, scientist have learned to turn off the genetic switch that causes aging in worms
  • Some researchers have discovered that old mice can be revived by infusing blood from young mice
  • Cloning: parts of the body for replacement or a whole human being,
  • Using nanotech to replace dying cells
  • Cryonics the process of "freeze - wait - reanimate" though at this point we have no evidence that this process would retain the personality and their memories
  • Transhumanism: cyborgs! The gradual process of replacing body parts with improved manufactured alternative
  • Singularity: upload your brain into a computer!

The good news and something nearly all these methods have in common is that they think by 2030 we'll have this nailed down. Though I don't know if this year has set back their plans

But there is someone that may have found a way to achieve this through meditation:

Dashi-Dorzho Itigilov

Dashi-Dorzho Itigilov
Dashi-Dorzho Itigilov

A Buryat Buddhist lama, born in 1852. And he is still believed to be in a meditative state, rather than dead. It is all due to the way he passed away. He recommended his fellow monks to start the process of meditation and the funeral rites while he sat in the lotus position, claiming he would soon pass away. He never "woke up" from this meditation and to this day he remains in the lotus position and seems to remain immune from any signs of decay. People believe he is in a state of hibernation or a nirvana-like state.

A group of scientists and doctors got the opportunity to examine him and this is what they found: he man is indeed dead, as his body temperature is very low. The body is still very well preserved: the muscles, joints and skin are still intact, although there has been some damage caused to the skin from salt

Science and nature tells us that this is possible, so why couldn't Keanu Reeves be immortal? He wouldn't be the first,

There are thousands of myths and legends about immortal heroes, but one in particular caught my eye, could this be a story about our precious Keanu?

The Wandering Jew

The Wandering Jew by Gustave Doré
The Wandering Jew by Gustave Doré

First appearing in a series of legends in the 13th centuries, though many connections have been made to this figure from much older literature. Scholars finding uncanny similarities between this figure and other heroes from other cultures

The Wandering Jew is the story about a man made immortal in the time of Jesus cursed to wander the earth until the second coming. The reasons vary, but many common themes is that he taunted Jesus at the crucifixion, yet in early manuscripts the character was named Cartaphilus which roughly translates to "dearly" and "loved" which connects this story to a biblical one about "the disciple whom Jesus loved"

The origins of this legend are uncertain but proposed element is the story of Cain and Abel. For killing his brother, Cain is issued a similar punishment -to wander over the earth, scavenging and never reaping, though it's not clearly stated that this would be for eternity.

A depiction of Cain burying Abel from an illuminated manuscript version of Stories of the Prophets
A depiction of Cain burying Abel from an illuminated manuscript version of Stories of the Prophets

The Wandering Jew is kind of like Mad max, the legends are many and spread across dozens of cultures. Often he is unnamed but there is also a plethora of names given to him in different stories, all with different meanings such as: "devoted to god" "eternal jew" and "fool"

In late 6th or early 7th century a monk claimed to have met a figure who struck Christ and is therefore punished to wander in eternal suffering and lament:

I saw an Ethiopian, clad in rags, who said to me, "You and I are condemned to the same punishment." I said to him, "Who are you?" And the Ethiopian who had appeared to me replied, "I am he who struck on the cheek the creator of the universe, our Lord Jesus Christ, at the time of the Passion. That is why," said Isidor, "I cannot stop weeping."

There were claims of sightings of the Wandering Jew throughout Europe, since at least 1542 in Hamburg up to 1868 in Harts Corners, New Jersey. Joseph Jacobs, writing in the 11th edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica (1911), commented

"It is difficult to tell in any one of these cases how far the story is an entire fiction and how far some ingenious impostor took advantage of the existence of the myth"

It has been alleged by an 1881 writer, who however cites no instances, that the supposed presence of the Wandering Jew has occasionally been used as a pretext for incursions by Gentiles into Jewish quarters during the late Middle Ages, when the legend was accepted as fact.

A tragic immortal hero? Hmm. We only know a couple of Keanu's previous forms, so let's get into it

Keanu Through the Ages

Ok so you know who Keanu is, you know about immortality let's tell you about his previous lives


We have two very compelling pieces of evidence for this:

First we have the amazing stained glass window feature Mr Reeves. Ok really, let's be honest here, I do believe the face on the right figure is from the original image, but the rest are clearly photoshopped copies. I believe this was sent to the owner of the keanu is immortal website. I have been unsuccessful in tracking down its source or even finding the church or an un-doctored image

Next we have an image of Keanu talking with a fan and on the table is a bottle of water and glass of wine! One of Jesus's favorite party tricks.

Ok let's be honest here. It's common for restaurants to provide water for a table in a bottle and most will let you order wine by the glass. They really isn't a mystery or proof of anything, but it's fun nonetheless

Past that, really I could find no other links to Jesus, but maybe I just don't have enough faith

Charlemagne (748-814)

So let's talk about Charlie!
Charlemagne is a pretty big deal, often called the father of Europe, was obsessed with learning and had some progressive ideals that you wouldn't expect from someone of that period and culture. A lot of this information will come from the writings of Einhard, a very loyal servant to chuck and scholar whose greatest work was Chuck's biography

No one knows where Chuck was born not even his pal Einhard

It would be folly, I think, to write a word concerning Charles' birth and infancy, or even his boyhood, for nothing has ever been written on the subject, and there is no one alive now who can give information on it. - Einhard[30]

Oooo mysterious

Frankish Empire, Chuck's domain
Frankish Empire, Chuck's domain

He united most of Western Europe for the first time since the classical era of the Roman Empire and united parts of Europe that had never been under Frankish or Roman rule. His rule spurred the Carolingian Renaissance, a period of energetic cultural and intellectual activity within the Western Church.

The Pope wasn't crazy about Chuck, but a woman had become empress, and that just wouldn't do. The Pope invited Chuck to come hang out and surprised him with coronation, saying the spot of emperor was vacant since women don't count

The point of whether or not Chuck was interested in the throne is debated but Einhard related that Charlemagne had been surprised by the Pope

Dürer, Albrecht: portrait of Charlemagne
Dürer, Albrecht: portrait of Charlemagne

Chuck thought education was the shit, and was determined that all 18 of his kids were educated, including his daughter

This included riding and weaponry for boys and embroidery spinning and weaving for the girls

Chuck kept his daughters at home and refused to arrange marriages for them, but he tolerated their extramarital relationships, even rewarding their common-law husbands and treasuring his illegitimate grandchildren produced by them. He refused to believe stories of their wild behavior

(Spoiler alert: Chuck's heir wasn't so chill and exiled his sisters to convents)

Chuck loved books, absolutely loved them. He would have them read to him during meals and his court played a key role in producing books that taught elementary Latin and different aspect of the church. (We know that despite his dyslexia, Keanu loves to to read)

A royal library was founded a number of copies of books were produced, which Chuck would distribute. Book production too forever back then and books were in high demand so Chuck would lend out his books but only if the borrower had some valuable collateral in return

Chuck liked to study himself! (at a time when leaders just didn't do that) under the tutelage of Peter of Pisa, from whom he learned grammar; Alcuin, with whom he studied rhetoric, dialectic (logic), and astronomy (he was particularly interested in the movements of the stars); and Einhard, who tutored him in arithmetic.

His biggest scholarly failure according to Einhard, was his inability to write. When in his old age he attempted to learn-practicing the formation of letters in his bed during his free time on books and wax tablets he hid under his pillow-

"his effort came too late in life and achieved little success"

Chuck hated drunkenness in anybody even more so in himself and is household, so he didn't drink much (Keanu is much the same due to have an alcohol/drug addict of a father)

Chuck was private, rarely hosting parties except on great-feast days where many would come (sound familiar?)

His Death

Charle's Coronation by Friedrich Kaulbach
Charle's Coronation by Friedrich Kaulbach

Aside from the striking resemblance, the account of the death of Charlemagne raises some suspicion.

Not long before his death Chuck called his son, King of Aquitaine to his court. He crowned his son co-emperor and then sent him back home

In Jan 814 Chuck got sick with pleurisy and became quite depressed thinking of all the things he didn't get done. He took to his bed on Jan 21 and died 7 days later

It was winter, the ground was frozen, it's very common in areas that freeze real good to put off the burial until the ground is softer, leaving the bodies in structures called death houses. This is still done today! But for some reason, Chuck was buried the same day that he died

Chuck has the honor of having the earliest surviving funeral song that was sang at his burial

From the lands where the sun rises to western shores, people are crying and wailing ... the Franks, the Romans, all Christians, are stung with mourning and great worry ... the young and old, glorious nobles, all lament the loss of their Caesar ... the world laments the death of Charles ... O Christ, you who govern the heavenly host, grant a peaceful place to Charles in your kingdom. Alas for miserable me.

His Burial

Emperor Otto visiting Chuck by Wilhelm von Kaulbach, 1859
Emperor Otto visiting Chuck by Wilhelm von Kaulbach, 1859

One hundred and eighty-six years later, in the year 1000, the German Emperor Otto the Third, who was a victim of melancholy, opened the crypt, hoping that the sight of the great dead would restore peace and rest to his soul.

According to contemporary chronicles, as Otto entered the underground chamber, he was struck by the vision of Charlemagne seated upon a throne, wearing a golden crown and holding a scepter, his fingernails sticking out the gloves.

"He had not lost any of his members to decay, except only the tip of his nose. Emperor Otto replaced this with gold, took a tooth from Charles's mouth, walled up the entrance to the chamber and withdrew,"

the Chronicle of Novalesia, written about 1026, reported.

In 1165, Frederick I, also known as Barbarossa, re-opened the tomb, displayed the remains as holy relics, then buried Charles in a marble sarcophagus beneath the floor of the cathedral.

In 1215 Emperor Frederick II re-interred him in a casket made of gold and silver known as the Karlsschrein.

In 1349, some of Charlemagne's bones were removed and kept as relics by Holy Roman Emperor Charles IV. After five undisturbed centuries, the founder of the Holy Roman Empire was exhumed again in 1861 for research purposes.

An estimate of his height from an X-ray and CT scan of his tibia performed in 2010 is 1.84 metres (6 ft 0 in)

This puts him in the 99th percentile of height for his period, given that average male height of his time was 1.69 metres (5 ft 7 in). The width of the bone suggested he was gracile in body build.

Keanu is 1.86 metres tall

The Throne

The Throne of Charlemagne still exists in the same church in Germany as Charlemagne now rests. Chuck had this throne made and while he wasn't crowned in it 31 german kings were after him

His Legacy

Chuck's will had his estate handled as such: most of his wealth went to the church to be used for charity

Chuck's son Louis would be the last of the Charlemagne empire, as it would be divided among his sons after Louis's death and laid the foundation for the creation of Germany and France

Charlemagne had eighteen children and 5 grandchildren. Among his descendants are several royal dynasties, including the Habsburg, Capetian and Plantagenet dynasties. By consequence, most if not all established European noble families ever since can genealogically trace some of their background to Charlemagne.

Parmigianino- 1503 to 1540

Girolamo Francesco Maria Mazzola

Parm self portrait vs Keanu himself
Parm self portrait vs Keanu himself

In 1503 Parmigianino was born, the 8th child of an Italian family. His father died of the plague when he was only 2 years old (Keanu's father left when he was 3), so he and his siblings were raised by their mother and their uncles

Parm became a brilliant artist and was hired by churches and the wealthy all over, his work was in high demand. So he traveled and he painted, for the most part there isn't a ton of craziness, though there is this story from his time in Rome

In 1527 Rome was sacked, the soldiers raiding houses, murdering and raping, all to claim the city for the Holy Roman Empire.

Parm was just chilling out completely transfixed in his latest painting of Madonna and Child, with the Baptist and St Jerome, he was clueless.

The troops stormed his residence finding him at work and the story goes that they froze, stunned by the angelic beauty of the young painter's face, the innocent intensity of his concentration, and the supernatural light of the painting itself. They could not bring themselves to harm either the artist or his work, and instead kept him in their employ for some months, producing pictures and portraits. Eventually he escaped with the help of his uncle

In 1527 Rome was sacked, the soldiers raiding houses, murdering and raping, all to claim the city for the Holy Roman Empire.

Parm was just chilling out completely transfixed in his latest painting of Madonna and Child, with the Baptist and St Jerome, he was clueless.

The troops stormed his residence finding him at work and the story goes that they froze, stunned by the angelic beauty of the young painter's face, the innocent intensity of his concentration, and the supernatural light of the painting itself. They could not bring themselves to harm either the artist or his work, and instead kept him in their employ for some months, producing pictures and portraits. Eventually he escaped with the help of his uncle

In 1530 he was living in Bologna and was present at the banquet for the freshly crowned Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who luck would have it would be the last emperor of the Holy Roman dynasty established by our good friend Chuck, oh and the last to be crowned on Chuck's throne

Allegorical Portrait of Charles V (1529-30)
Allegorical Portrait of Charles V (1529-30)

Coincidence I think not!

Ok but it is most likely, but still fun to think about

Charles V would be the first remembered ruler whose domain was described as "the empire on which the sun never sets".

While Parm was there he painted what is noted as an "unorthodox and fascinating" portrait of Charles, despite how unusual it was, the new Emperor liked it very much, Parm thanked him, took the painting back and said it wasn't finished. The painting was never re-presented to Charles. Parm just kept it for himself despite the clear upset and impact it could've had on his career

In his last years Parm became obsessed with alchemy, devoting all his time and resources into his research even at the expense of his health. Some believe this was due to his fascination with magic while others believed he was just trying to develop a new medium for his art, but during this time (while still working on personal projects) he neglected all of his contracts including repeatedly missed deadlines to paint murals for the church, he was even jailed for this, but got out on bail with the promise he'd do the work and then promptly fucked right off

Parm self portrait vs Keanu
Parm self portrait vs Keanu

A few short months before he died, Parm corresponded with an artist friend, asking them to complete the work he had no intention of finishing at the church, but he didn't want to leave incomplete. This really isn't that odd, a little neurotic but hey he's an artist. What is interesting is how he finished the letter:

"Please deign to write to me and give me advice on this matter as I know not what to say except that I think you love me as much as I love you...

Rumors of his alchemic years run wild, but here's two statements of interest

Much this information comes from books written by Giorgio Vite a painter and architect titled: Lives of the Most Excellent Painters, Sculptors, and Architects. A series of biographies about artists of the era, including Parm written between 1550 - 1568

Vite recounts, in the form of a parable for young artists, how Parmigianino fell under the spell of alchemy until, utterly perplexed and changed into a savage man, he completely abandoned painting

'allowed his beard to grow long and disordered ... he neglected himself and grew melancholy and eccentric'.

In August 1540, at 37, Parm took ill with a fever and died. He was buried naked with a cross made of cypress on his chest in the church of the servites, a sect of Christianity who was primarily devoted to Mother Mary or as they call her 'Our Lady of Sorrows'. There's not much information on whether or not Parm was a servite himself but that is where he was buried

Our Lady of Sorrows of the Servite Church
Our Lady of Sorrows of the Servite Church

Another note of interest on the cross made of cypress this is very likely a gesture of memorial and grief by the church. Cypress wood has a very mystic history of its association with death.

It's important to note that 2000-3000 years ago, it was nearly logged to extinction, so was only used by those that could afford it, things like burial tombs of Chinese emperors and coffins for popes

Romans used to wrap bodies in cypress leaves and branches, in order to facilitate their journey to the afterlife. The Latin naturalist Pliny the Elder commented that the homes that have recently been bereaved would place a cypress branch on the door as a sign of bereavement.

It is commonly accepted that it was used to build Solomon' temple and Noah's arc

And many believe that it is what made the cross that Jesus died on

Paul Mounet (1847-1922)

The last contender in the previous lives of Mr Reeves is a man known as Paul Mounet

Paul began his career studying medicine to become a doctor before switching to actor, following in his older brother's foot steps. As a stage actor he performed many plays in France including Shaekspeare, his probably most well known role is in the 1909 film Macbeth where he played the title character

In 1922 Mounet died of heart failure. The keanu is immortal site claims that Mounet's body was never found, but I have not found a single other reference to this, though I haven't had much luck in finding out more about his burial

Mounet was an actor, just like Keanu Reeves is today. He lived to be 75 yet the life expectancy during his time was around 40 years old

During this time Mounet seems to have survived the flu influenza at a very old age, which is odd since the influenza killed 95% of the people in his community with the survivors all recorded to be in their 20s. Instead records show that he died of heart disease, a very uncommon way to die during his time (only 0.01% of the population).

In an interview Jimmy Kimmel confronted Reeves about his immortality and showed him his lookalikes, Reeves had this to say about Mounet

"I can see we have a likeness in the eyes, and the nose... and the moustache, and the beard, and the cheekbones, and the forehead."

Writing Samples

While doing my research I came across a picture of a letter that Parm wrote and decided to hunt for additional writing samples to compare. Naturally since Chuck couldn't write, we don't have any samples of his writing, but here we have (left to right): Parm, Paul Mounet and Reeves

There really isn't much similarity here, but still something fun! (or maybe that's just me)

Additional "Evidence"

In case the above is not enough to make you a true believer, here is some additional, oft-cited pieces of "evidence"

  • Keanu Reeves circumvents Jimmy Fallon's fascination over the actor's name with an entertaining tale over its origin by incorporating the distracting pseudonym "Chuck Spadina." Notice how "Chuck" is shorthand for "Charles," which is shorthand for "Charlemagne."
  • Clue #4: Keanu Reeves Has Been Sneaking His Autobiography Into His Sci-Fi Movies. Many argue that Reeves is trying to tell us his story through the roles he takes
  • In 1989 Reeves starred in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, where he could travel with his friend in a phone booth to study historical figures firsthand
  • Ten years later, in The Matrix, he played an average man who discovers his existence in 1999 Los Angeles is merely a futuristic computer program. In 2006, Keanu Reeves reunited with his Speed co-star Sandra Bullock in a romantic drama about a couple living two years apart who send love letters to each other through a magical, time-traveling mailbox in The Lake House.
  • Third Reason - His kindness can only be acquired in a long and wise life. Keanu is one of the few actors that truly respects the work of the people behind the scenes of Hollywood movies, is it clear that during his everlasting life he came to appreciate the hard work so he decided to give away 50 millions pounds (out of 70) of his earnings from the matrix sequels. When asked about his act of generosity he said:
"Money is the last thing I think about. I could live on what I have already made for the next few centuries".


So is Reeves immortal? It's highly unlikely. But he does appear to be a good person that has had to learn some hard lessons

Keanu has a seen a fair amount of death and tragedy, this seems to make him appreciate the world more and be selfless. He doesn't act for the money, for him it's the art, and each role is just an opportunity for him to keep acting, which he loves

When he's not working, he's wandering the world, without security or entourages, just exploring and living. One of his favorite past times is riding his bikes

I also like riding at night. You shut off your lights and go. It's quiet and you're guided by the moonlight. You're getting away from it all. 'It's about getting out and feeling the wind in your hair, just having two wheels to ride. You have to be in the present, here and now - there's nothing like it. You take a turn and go.

Someone once asked what he wouldn't like about being dead

"You couldn't get stoned anymore"

But when asked about what happens after death

"I know that the ones who love us will miss us"

"It really puts everything in perspective when you lose someone you really loved. You realize that life is precious and short. And that you shouldn't waste a single moment of it. If I could go back in time and tell 20 me year old anything. It would be don't waste any time wondering if they feel the same way about you. Just tell them how you feel. Be honest with them. You owe it to yourself. And you owe it to them! Who knows. Maybe they feel the same way. Life is too short. You gotta cherish it"

Jimmy Fallon asked Keanu during an interview on The Tonight Show about whether he has found the elixir to immortality. While the actor replied with,

'We're all stardust baby'

"You're breathtaking!"
"You're breathtaking!"

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